For goodness sake, ask for help already!
Too often we’re afraid to ask for help and don’t see that as plain and simple self-care. We’re afraid someone will say no for various reasons. “Will they think I’m just being lazy? Of course they will. Ugh… I’ll just find a way to do it.”
Everyone else is just as busy as you too, right? Maybe that’s your immediate reason why you just can’t ask for help.
Guilty of thinking everyone will do everything “wrong” anyway maybe? You don’t have your husband or kids helping because they “will only cause you more work” fixing what they cleaned?
Wrong, wrong, and wrong. None of this helps you self-care well, and for how long can you run this train on your own without it?
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Self-care means allowing others to care for you sometimes
You may not want to ask for meals every week on Facebook, or for help from people you barely know… but sharing that you’re really struggling on occasion is the only way for people to know you need help. Ask for help with a small coffee or exercise break for starters! I bet you’ll have takers on that. If a mom you know confessed she was beyond frazzled and asked for help, would you think badly of her? I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t!
You could see if anyone in your neighborhood wants to double up on meals one night each week and trade too. Just make sure to communicate clearly and follow through on your end!
And finally, as far as the family helping you- they need the chance as much as you need the help. You may hate the way they put away dishes or load the dishwasher (check out this trick), but when you don’t let them, because “they’ll do it wrong,” it keeps them from growing.
You’re gifting your future sons and daughters-in-law with spouses who don’t think to help. Won’t that suck down the road!? Not letting Dad help? Again, what message does that send the kids? It’s time to let go of some control things (I’ve had to do this myself too, I know it’s hard) and let everyone pitch on their fair share.
For more self-care, visit the series landing page here.
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